Confession Edition of Emergency Program
by matanee
Summary: Post Doomsday. The Doctor leaves Rose in the parallel universe, but the TARDIS has a surprise for him to comfort his broken hearts. 10/Rose, reviews are loved!


The TARDIS.

The Doctor was well aware of the fact that his little time-jumping and universe-switching machine is very much a living creature, but he never thought she would be _this much_ living. He never really liked hitting it exactly because he knew she felt that too (he did it only it was really necessary) - but right at the moment when the connection get cut between the TARDIS and the Bad Wolf Bay, he really wanted to hit something. To break something, to shout loudly and let the universe know how much he hated it. Sudden emotions that were never experienced before had infested his body, his veins, his heart and his very soul, and the feeling was so intense he just wanted to rip out one of his hearts. That'd be easier - a little bit.

As he slowly wiped away the tears that rolled down on his cheeks, he took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling, like he was waiting for a sign from God or anyone. It was somehow ridiculous, expecting help in the middle of nowhere, in the outer space, but he felt like he couldn't help himself anymore. It was the kind of pain he thought he couldn't bear.

And then, with the suddenness of a lightning or a gust of rain in the summer heat, he heard the specific voice. It was hardly audible for a human being, but he, the Doctor, who travelled in the TARDIS for 900 years now, could easily hear and recognize it. It was the TARDIS' Emergency Program.

The doctor spun with a speed that he almost pushed the TARDIS out of the time vortex, but he couldn't have dealt with that fact even if the situation was so. And why is that? Because Rose was sitting on the floor before him - _his_ Rose. She was only a holographic image, but it wasn't a real problem now; it just helped him to remember he couldn't lose it now. It was not the time for this. She must've been there for a reason, and he was _so_ going to listen to that reason.

_"Okay, I'm not sure if it's working now but... The TARDIS is purring underneath me, so I guess it means something good."_

She was smiling, Gosh, she smiled right the way she always did, and the Doctor had to clear his throat to fight down the urge of crying again. He slowly approached the place where she was sitting, and then he simply put himself into the same position. They were sitting on the floor, like two children - like she was really there.

_"So, I'm in Torchwood now... I mean, both of us is here, but you went off with my Mum. I hope no one will hear me speaking, otherwise, it would be a really suck present for ya'," _she chuckled silently, and a bitter smile appeared on the Doctor's face. She and her presents... She could surprise him with anything, she didn't need to make or do special things. But they both knew that, of course. _"Only an hour passed, but I'm terribly bored, and I'm kinda missin' you as well, so I thought I'd tell you a few things before I use _this _to get out of this blue box."_

She raised the hypnotic paper impishly, and the smile widened on the Doctor's lips. She was such a trouble-maker sometimes, but right now, he missed it probably the most. He shook his head to dismiss these depressing thoughts, but never removed his glance from the girl in front of him. He wanted to stare at her until he could burn a hole into that holographic image. And it was painful to realize: even this was impossible too.

_"You told me when we went to 2012 that you feel something really bad coming. In this strange place where people make ghosts to please the world's population, in this weird and unnatural place I can feel that really terrifying intuition too. I don't want to talk of the devil or something like that... But I'm afraid that our biggest fear, the Bad Wolf is coming. It wants to seperate us, but you should know that I won't let that happen."_

Against every inch of his common sense, he felt the tears piercing his eyes from the inside, and the deep breaths couldn't help him anymore. He just wanted to grab her, to hold her for a minute; he didn't really remember when he held her that tight last time. The feeling that owned him was bitter and he needed a few seconds until he could open his watery eyes and search for the gaze of Rose again. To his suprise, it really seemed like she was staring at his lips, but she soon rose his glance again and took a deep breath.

_"You know, I really love travelling with you," _she told with a gentle smile, and her eyes showed so much honesty he felt his stomach tremble by it. _"I can go to places I've never been before... I can meet people and species I've never thought would exist... I could see the TARDIS, and I must admit she's unbelievable..."_

The silent purring just sounded from the background of the holographic message, and the Doctor just chuckled in the same time as Rose did.

"Yes, it was a compliment, deary," he murmured as he rose his head into the direction of the TARDIS' heart, and he looked back at Rose. She still smiled, although, there was something in her eyes that made him worry. There were tears forming, and his smile immediately faded. She always knew how to pretend she was alright, even if she wasn't. Just like when they travelled back in time to her father's death, or when dangerous aliens had occupied the Earth... Or when she was stuck in the parallel universe and she couldn't even touch him. She was crying, but yet, she seemed so strong... He just knew she wasn't going to give up, because it's never allowed. He could teach that to her at least.

_"I never want to lose you." _Her voice broke a little bit around the middle of the sentence, but she quickly blinked a few and sighed, tearing her look from the Doctor, staring at the floor instead. She needed a few seconds before she could go on, but the worrying emotions in her eyes had never faded. _"Before I met you, I didn't know what to do with my life. I had no purpose, no dream... We've dreamed about having a dream, Mickey and I,"_ she laughed as she wiped a lonely teardrop from the corner of her eye, and he could only smile at the sight. _"Now I left my old life, I don't have Mickey anymore, and I guess the fate wanted us to meet and you to save me from the living plastic thingies. I simply feel like it would be a really bad joke if the same fate wanted to seperate us right now. Right now before I could tell you... anything."_

A little bit more intense voice sounded from the message's background, and while the Doctor furrowed his brows, Rose only laughed once again. It seemed like she perfectly knew what was going on, but the Doctor needed more time to realize it was the TARDIS again.

_"I see you really are a stubborn one, aren't ya'?"_ she asked with a sigh, then she just met the look of the Doctor again, and she took back her breath for a second. He didn't really know what was going on or what should he expect, but the expression of his Rose's face was unreadable. His hearts were racing like he was running the marathon, and he could swear he'd have died at that very spot if the message would've ended there. _"I'm afraid the TARDIS will use force if I don't tell you, so... You should know, Doctor, that... I loved you from the very start."_

The look in her eyes was as relived as much pain the Doctor felt. He shivered when the words have made echo in his head, like that one sentence was on repeat. It was the last thing he'd have wanted to miss right now, and as he closed his eyes, he realized he forgot breathing. Inhale slowly, and then never exhale. It seemed to be a really good solution.

_"I guess I'm a coward I'm telling it to you this way, but yes, Doctor, since the day our adventures began, since the day I really started to trust you, I started loving you as well. Maybe it's not too hard to find out why am I so determined to stay with you... There's a great chance you'd find it annoying or you would drop me off at home in my sleep because you don't want a companion that just fell for you, but... I think I'll never know that."_

The sad smile on her face just told him everything. He exactly knew why the TARDIS played it to him right now, and she knew that too. It was an Emergency Program after all... And it made the situation even more dramatic than it originally was.

_"I never wanted to leave you without telling you this. It might hurt you, but... If I won't be there to cheer you up, just please, find someone instead of me. Even the thought of you having someone else in my room makes me jealous, but it is what you have to do to survive. And you _must _survive, after all, you are the last of the Time Lords. The last one of your kind, and you have to move on."_

"How could I ever send anyone to your room, silly..." His voice was full of sorrow and the painful realizations, the memories they couldn't relive once more made him more and more desperate. He didn't make questions like 'How could it happen to us?' or 'Why do I deserve this?', although it wouldn't have been a problem if he did. He didn't feel sorry for himself - he felt sorry for the rest of the universe, for the TARDIS, for_ her_. Because it wasn't easier for her than it was for him.

_"I should really finish now, before I start crying or worse," _she laughed shortly, and after a bit of pause she slowly stood up, and took a deep breath. He followed her, standing right in front of her, and tried to pretend she really was there. Like he felt her scent, heard her heart beating of felt her breath on his skin. And there was a short moment when it actually worked, and he was sure he could remember it, anytime now. _"I hope once we get out of here and we spent our lives in the TARDIS, we're going to watch this message together, laughing about it and you would make a joke of me that how sentimental I am. I really hope that, my Doctor."_

"You are such a sentimental, Rose Tyler," he smiled wanly, and just like she heard it, a silent chuckle had left her mouth.

_"It's the end of Confession Edition of Emergency Program by Rose Tyler."_

The one last smile she gave him was more than beautiful, and as she slowly faded away, the TARDIS made a comforting sound that made a sad smile appear on the face of the Doctor. He wasn't really alone. Rose Tyler and the TARDIS had their little secret all along without him knowing; who knows... Maybe they had some more that just needed to be found.

And he was _more than ready _to find them.


End file.
